Saturday, 09th November 2013
First Round Proper
Kidderminster Harriers v Sutton United
Aggborough
Kidderminster
DY10 1NB
K.O. 3.00pm
Half time 2-1
Final score 4-1
0-1 Charlie Clough 10
mins
1-1 Amari Morgan-Smith
13 mins
2-1 Callum Gittings
18 mins
3-1 Joe Lolley 60
mins
4-1 Anthony Malbon 90
mins
Attendance 2,045 (away 178)
Miles travelled approximately 285
Heads
up. If you need to go to the bar or write a book of your own, now’s the time to
do it. We’re going to be here a while.
Football.
I have a theory about football and here it is, “Football has everything to do
with everything, except that 90 minutes of football”. I never suggested that it
was the greatest theory to be put into print…
As
soon as we’d got home after the replay I contacted Gerard about getting tickets
for the Kidderminster game. The bad news was that Kidderminster weren’t going
to send Sutton any tickets. Well, I was having none of that. I contacted
Kidderminster and within one E Mail Helen Macdonald had done a “Tony”. The
lovely (as she will now be known as) Helen Macdonald had informed that there
would be a ticket waiting for me on my arrival at Aggborough.
Also,
Kidderminster v Sutton threw up a couple of issues, firstly I wasn’t overly
impressed by their fans, that I would now have to spend the day with and I
don’t have an amber shirt.
I
do however have a bright yellow Terrorvision “Pretend Best Friend” T Shirt (Oh…
the irony…) which is signed by the band. Now, walking around in a signed T
Shirt when you’re a kid is one thing, but when you’re the wrong side of 40 it’s
another. As a strange twist of fate, the first time I ever saw Terrorvision was
in Kidderminster, at The Market Tavern, Friday, 13th November 1992,
to massive crowd of almost 10 people, with 12 of them being the bar staff. So,
almost 21 years to the day since I first saw Terrorvision, in a pub in
Kidderminster, I have the chance to wear a bright yellow Terrorvision, “Pretend
Best Friend” T Shirt, even if it’s signed and go down to The Market Tavern and
do the photo thing. The only problem is that The Market Tavern is now a long
time gone. Oh well…
As
for the Sutton fans, more on them later.
Just
for the record I wore my white Wolfsbane football shirt which the band had
given to me as a gift on the night of my 50th Wolfsbane gig. I think
I shall wear it for the other rounds of the Cup. Maybe…
In
other news, the first FA Cup tie to be played under floodlights was
Kidderminster Harriers v Brierley Hill Alliance, Thursday 15th
September 1955 with Kidderminster winning 4-2. While Kidderminster’s first game
at home in the League Cup was against Walsall in the 2nd leg,
Tuesday 05th September 2000. Drawing 1-1 at Bescot the week before,
they lost 0-1 at home to a goal from Darren Byfield - I think - anyway I was at
both games, League Cup games that is, not the FA Cup one. Just how old do you
think I am…
So,
after a quick stop off in Brum for a bit of shopping I arrived at Aggborough at
11.45am. I park the car and go off to get programmes and find the lovely Helen
Macdonald while taking photos.
While
I was outside the main entrance to the club I bumped into some of the Kiddi
staff. Leon from BT Sport turned up. We chatted about our plans for the day and
swapped notes. He went off to find his contacts and went off to take more
photos.
I
popped into the ground and took some photos. The ground was at peace. One or
two final touches were being made. The pitch looked good, considering that
Kiddi ground share with Worcester City FC, two games a week and it looked OK to
me, a bit bare in places, but so what.
Eventually
I meet up with the lovely Helen Macdonald. DAMN! I wish I’d have made the
effort now… WHAT!? Ha! Ha! Ha! She’s going to slap me three days past the
middle of next Tuesday after she’s read that… but it will be worth it… WHAT!?
After
a brief chat with some of the Kiddi and Sutton staff I staggered back outside only
to be greeted with the sight of the England Team Coach slowly driving up the
street. It was a classic Sooty double take. I just stood there thinking WTF!?
Just how lost was he? I quickly grabbed hold of my camera and ran through the
gates into the street to take a photo, only to find Leon filming the arrival of
Sutton United… While he was filming it, I was now stood in the street, blocking
traffic from the other direction, I looked over to Leon and asked if he knew
about this, to which he shouted “No!”
All
I could think of once I’d got over the shock of seeing the England Team Coach
was Dave Boggins and how he would have loved to reverse this into his car park…
hahaha…
While
all of that was going on the word got around that the Sutton fans who were on
the only supporters coach out of Sutton had gone via the M4 and then the M5
giving them an ETA of 3.20pm having left at 10.45am. Laughing to myself I made
my way into The Harriers Arms.
While
I was at the bar a few Sutton fans recognised me. One or two words were said
about my comments on their support or complete lack of it over the two previous
games. It’s not my fault that me and my 12 year old daughter could make the
effort to travel the 700 miles round trip from Cumbria to do the Sutton v Hemel
replay when the Sutton fans couldn’t be bothered to travel across the estate
they live on. They tried to assure me that they didn’t have one song. YEAH!
YEAH! Whatever…
It’s
at this point I feel I should mention that when I arrived at Kiddi, it was
obvious that this was the next step up on the ladder. All four sides of the
ground had a stand. Floodlights on sticks. Staff in uniform. Bar staff in
uniform. Security staff in car parks and the streets at 11.45am onwards. This
place might very well be a Conference League team but it has a professional attitude
and performance to match any professional team further up the ladder.
Don’t
misread what I’ve just written. St Margaretsbury and Hemel were both very
professional in their attitude and application, but looking after 30 people is
not the same as looking after 3,000. The game had been up’d and it showed. Even
the girls selling Half Time Tickets wore a uniform, now THAT’S impressive and
so were they. They looked great and they must get hit on all the time, but they
just went about their jobs in a very professional way.
Eventually
I made my way into the ground - for the second time - and I made my way to the
kiosk. I wanted one of those pies that everyone and his camel bang on about. OH
MY GOD! £4!? Really?£4… You want £4 for a pie… Eventually the RAF arrives with
a Chinook and air lift the pie into the ground. Do you have a shovel… Bloody
Hell Fire. That’s the best £4 I’ve spent in a long time. Apart from it being
worth the £4, in size and shape, it actually tasted good too. It was hot,
moist, lots of different textures and it had a sweet, spicy, beefy, kind of
flavour. Just for the record the pie was a similar size to a bag of sugar.
Walsall
FC if you’re reading this - and I know that you are - go and contact their
catering company…
I
made my way behind the goal and found my spot. The Sutton fans had arrived
before the game. They made their way behind the goal and made their presence
known. Where have they been for the last two games? They were right, they don’t
just have one song, they have lots of songs and didn’t they sing them. I’m
guessing that there must have been around 100 fans making one hell of a racket.
I know you are reading that and giggling to yourselves, but I couldn’t hear
Kidderminster. I could hear their drum, but I couldn’t hear them. Out sung, at
home, by 100 fans that arrived late…
The
teams came out and the minutes silence began.
Show
me a better use of volume than complete and utter silence. The silence was
perfect. The silence was deafening. Sixty seconds of nothing but the wind. Pure.
Clean. Fresh. Simple. Honest. Genuine.
Pink
balls? Pink balls? WTF!? What’s with the pink balls? If I wanted to watch 22
grown men play with pink balls I would have bought my laptop with me… WHAT!?
On
paper it looked like a good game. Sutton were riding in on the back of 13 games
unbeaten and were lying 4th in their league, while Kidderminster
were 2nd in their league even though they lost last week and
struggled in the two Cup games against Bradford PA. I’d told everyone that
would listen to me that Kidderminster should win BUT it wouldn’t be easy,
because Sutton play really good football.
FIVE
minutes into the game and I don’t think the ball touched the ground once… I’ll
just nip into town and buy a tennis bat thing shall I? I’ll also get a
trampoline while I’m at it... and not one of those Health and Safety bullshit
netted ones either… a real one with 2 foot super sharp metal spikes around the
edge and some bear traps too please thank you very much, don’t wrap it I’ll use
it straight away… I’m Black Country me…
By
the time I’d got back to the ground both teams had stopped playing football
ping pong and had decided to pass the round pink think to each other like
proper footballers do. It’s at that point that game finally kicked off. Both
teams do play very attractive football.
The
better of the chances were falling to Kidderminster with Sutton’s keeper
pulling off some important stops and because of that you know what’s coming
don’t you. Sutton won a corner and scored with a well placed header straight
into the top corner. I must confess I jumped and clapped and cheered with the
rest of the Sutton fans. What a goal.
Where’s
your drummer gone, where’s your drummer gone… that header shut him up. But it
sparked Kidderminster into a reality check. Game on. Here we go. Kidderminster
went for it and Sutton returned the favour. Sutton’s keeper (Tom Lovelock) was
slowly and surely becoming man of the match with save after save resulting from
each wave of attack.
Eventually,
the coming goal came, as did the second, literally 5 minutes later, but not
before Sutton’s keeper pulled off even more saves. Such was the performance of
Lovelock that the bloke next to me Googled him as we watched even more saves.
At one point he went down at the feet of the advancing Kidderminster attack, he
had plenty of time to see what was going to happen, a good old fashioned
hospital ball, he knew he was going to get hurt, but he still went into the
advancing feet hands and face first. Brave as a lion. His performance was worth
the admission fee alone.
Going
2-1 down didn’t shut the Sutton fans up either. They were still going strong.
I’m glad to report that they proved me wrong. I later found out that there were
178 Sutton fans there. I’m proud to say that for 90 minutes I was one of them.
It was a pleasure.
Half
Time arrived and to be honest it could have been a lot worse than 2-1 for
Sutton.
I
made my way over to Leon and asked if he wanted one of those legendary
Kidderminster soups that I’ve heard so much about. “Two soups please mate”, I
said to the young lad at the kiosk. “Do you want a spoon with it?” He asked.
Spoon? Why would I want a spoon? I thought to myself. “Yes please”, I said just
in case.
OH
MY F*****G GOD! I’ve changed my mind. The man of the match goes to the
Kidderminster soup. It’s mental. I could feel my arteries blocking up and I
hadn’t even tasted it yet. We just stood there staring at each other. It had
fat floating on the top of it as it was starting to separate. It smelt like
your girlfriend’s fit sister... It looked like vomit and I don’t mean that in a
negative way, it’s just what it looked like and now I understood why he offered
me a spoon. I had to keep stirring it up to get all of the lumps of meat and
veg off the bottom of the cup, which was over half a pint in size. Stuff the FA
Cup trail I’m staying here for the rest of the season. It tasted fantastic
(just like I imagine she does…). A perfect balance of meat, veg and fat. I
dread to think how many calories are in it. You could take it up Everest or to
the North Pole and live on it, forever. Actually, you could take it to under
privileged parts of the world - you know, like Yorkshire - and feed people.
OXFAM, if you’re reading this, YOUR MISSING A TRICK!
The
second half kicked off and I’m still digging my way to the bottom of the soup.
Sutton start stronger. A second goal would change the atmosphere, it would put
pressure on Kidderminster and their fans would get restless, they needed that
second goal and went looking for it.
For
a good 15 minutes Sutton piled the pressure on but a sloppy pass lead to a
break away for Kidderminster. They took their chance. It was clean and
clinical, unlike like my local hospital.
Finally,
the Sutton fans lost their voice, 3-1 down and everyone knew it was over. It
wasn’t that Sutton weren’t capable of scoring it was that Kidderminster weren’t
going to let them. To their credit, Sutton continued play football. Passing and
moving. Still looking to attack. Still refusing to kick it and run. Once in a
while route one is an option. They didn’t choose it. Sometimes not choosing
route one is a mistake. A few mistakes were made. Wrong options picked. But
their heads didn’t drop. The Sutton fans found their voices again.
5
subs in 7 minutes broke the play up and the game moved towards 90 minutes.
Before it arrived Kidderminster added a fourth goal. A few minutes later and it
was over.
On
paper 4-1 at home looks like a walk over. It wasn’t. Don’t be fooled. I’m sure
that Sutton’s possession was close to 50/50. I’ll leave it up to you to look up
the stats. Having said that, I don’t really think that Kidderminster where ever
in any danger of losing the game.
I
want to give the last word on the game to Tom Lovelock. As I’ve mentioned
before. I don’t agree with those man of the match awards because it’s a team
game, but, if during the course of a game an individual stands out from the
rest it’s only correct that they get recognition. Tom stopped it becoming a
cricket score and kept his team in the game a dozen times or more, which gave
confidence to the team, which gave confidence to the fans, which gave
confidence to the team and on it went and it affected Kidderminster’s
performance too. Tom Lovelock. TOP BANANA!
After
the game I said my goodbyes to the Sutton fans and staff that I’d spent the
afternoon with before taking a photo of that groovy massive flag, which they
were half way through taking down. “OY!” I shouted, “Put that flag back, I need
to take a photo of it…” I continued and doing exactly as he was told he climbed
back into position and replaced it. He was just like an amber clad Spiderman.
Well I say Spiderman, if he was Spiderman he had let himself go… WHAT!?
I
hope that Sutton fan got back to South Wales safely. Loyal supporter.
Before
leaving I meet up with Gerard and the Sutton Chairman. We all apologise for not
meeting up sooner and we make plans for a future meet up. I also bumped into a
Sutton player who lives just around the corner from me, which is a bit random.
Somewhere
after 6pm the Sutton United England Team Coach winds her way through the A
roads of Worcestershire towards the motorway and the great smoke and I follow.
Terrorvision
and Wolfsbane help the journey pass and while singing my head off to great
songs from great bands, I wonder what tomorrows Cup draw will give me.
At
approximately 08.05pm while I was changing over CDs Radio 2’s coverage of The
Festival of Remembrance came on by default. As I drove I listened to an
interview with 91 year old Squadron Leader Johnny Johnson, who took part in Operation
“Chastise”.
You
may know Operation Chastise as The Dambuster’s Raid, which took place during
WWII 70 years ago.
Squadron
Leader Johnny Johnson spoke calmly and quietly, without fear or shame. He
answered the questions that were put his way honestly and with great dignity.
Towards the end of the interview he told how there were only three Dambusters
left alive. Squadron Leader Les Munro in New Zealand and Rear Gunner Fred
Sutherland in Canada.
His
parting words were that he thought they should be called, “The
three-must-have-a-beer”, I was so busy laughing I almost crashed the car.
Once
I was home I raised a large glass of Whiskey.
Today
had been a good day.
If
I’m not being too crass, I would like to dedicate today’s adventures to all of
those who fell.
And
just for the record ever wondered why the Germans always win the penalty shoot
out?
Noggin
xx
