Tuesday, 29th October 2013
Fourth Round Qualifying Replay
Sutton United v Hemel Hempstead Town
The Borough Sports Ground
Sutton
SM1 2EY
K.O. 7.45pm (delayed to 8.05pm)
Half time 1-0
Final score 2-0
1-0 Ali Fuseini 12
mins
2-0 Graig Dundas 86
mins
Attendance 662
Miles travelled approximately 700
RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!! Went the alarm clock and 06.00
greeted me and my daughter in the only way an alarm clock going off at 06.00
can greet someone.
By 07.55 we were leaving to the sound of Quo’s, “Whatever
you Want” on the radio. Has there ever been a more apt song?
Whatever you want, Whatever you like, Whatever you say, You pay
your money, You take your choice, Whatever you need, Whatever you use, Whatever
you win, Whatever you lose, You're showing off, You're showing out, You look
for trouble, Turn around, give me a shout, I take it all, You squeeze me dry, And
now today, You couldn't even say goodbye, I could take you home, On the
midnight train again, I could make an offer you can't refuse…
I
should point out that when I got to my daughters late on Saturday night, I
asked her if she wanted a day out in London on Tuesday. Quick as a flash she
asked if it meant going to watch football again, to which I said yes. She asked
if we could go shopping in London, to which I said yes. So the deal was done.
All I had to do was work out how to do it, get to London and back again that
this…
After
a quick bit of number crunching, we decided to best way to do the trip was to
drive to Wolverhampton, dump the car, train to London Euston, tube to
Wimbledon, train to West Sutton and repeat but the other way around, leaving
London Euston at 23.30 arriving back in Cumbria at 06.30 on Wednesday.
Before
you ask, the reason for driving then getting the train was so that I could at least
get some sleep, even if was for only two hours.
So
off down the M6 we went passing the USA Rugby League World Cup Team Coach on
the way. Wolverhampton arrived and we tried to spend as little time there as
necessary. The train left on time and I was asleep before New Street.
Once
we got to London, we bought our Travel Cards and went off shopping and site
seeing. It was a little weird being there as a tourist instead of just stepping
out of my front door and finding London waiting there for me.
While
we were shopping we went to The Freemasons Arms pub in Covent Garden. It’s not
the original pub because that was across the street and has long since been
knocked down, only to be replaced, at the time of writing, by a sweet shop
(they know sweet FA…). But at least we made the effort to go.
By
the time we got to Wimbledon it was dark and as for West Sutton, it has grass
on the platform. No really it does, vast lawns of grass on the platform. That’s
just showing off.
West
Sutton and the football ground are separated by a fence and a walk of 500
metres or more. No really, the ground is on the side of one of the tracks but
you have to walk all the way around to get to it. Bizarre.
As
for the ground. Well, it was dark. I shall save my words for when I get to see
it in daylight. Every ground that I’ve visited so far looked like it was on the
up, this one didn’t. It had a history and didn’t it show. When I get there in
daylight I’m going to have a proper rummage about.
We
spoke to some of the staff and very helpful they were too. We were advised to
go The Plough pub and who am I to argue… A quick trip to the Chinese next door
and it was back to the ground.
By
now it was cold, very cold. The ground is old, very old and open. It looks like
an old running/dog/speedway track. A bit like Stamford Bridge but without the
electric fence, which was a shame because the electric fence would have kept us
all warm. You could have sent off a thermonuclear device and it still wouldn’t
have brightened the place up.
Anyone
into their football memorabilia should make the effort to go to Sutton Club
Shop. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen anything like that. It’s a
very well stuffed shop and very well run by people who love their football. If
you can imagine Steptoe and Son’s house, but for football, then you’re getting
there. Truly a cave of football wonderment.
Then
it was announced that the KO was being put back to 8pm because Hemel were stuck
on the M25. I bumped into the Ref in the entrance to the tunnel, I asked if we
were still on for an 8pm KO, “Well, it’s 7.59 now and they still aren’t here,
it’s probably going to be a little bit later”, said the Ref.
A
burst of life and a burst of red as a few Hemel players exploded from the
tunnel like the Millennium Falcon from the Death Star and run to some hastily
place cones behind the goal for a warm up. The Ref was having none of it and
started to lead out Sutton. Hemel players ran towards the line up and shuck
hands before taking their positions.
This
was not a good start to a game and as far as I could tell, there was only me
and my daughter there in red.
The
game kicked off at 8.05pm-ish and moved on at a good pace. Chances at both
ends. No atmosphere. No chanting from the home fans and still no One Direction.
The
game started to unravel, within minutes of the KO a Hemel player pulled a
hamstring and from a clearance by the keeper, Sutton took the lead from a
deflected shot, or at least it looked deflected from where I was shivering.
We
made our way behind the goal that Hemel were attacking and weren’t they
attacking it. I bumped into some Hemel fans. Chance after chance. They must
have given Sutton the shock of their lives. I counted five clear chances that
for one reason or another, including hitting a Hemel player as it was goal
bound, didn’t go in. Basically, all the things I’d got used to over the last
few games.
Suddenly,
One Direction arrived along with about 100 Hemel fans (but still no Caroline
Flack…). They’d had their drum taken off them and their flag polls. Flags were draped
over the fence and the corrugated iron fence at the back of the stand became an
improvised drum.
BANG!
BANG! BANG! The atmosphere had arrived and had changed for the better, because
at least there is now an atmosphere. But the security were having none of it.
Two members of security piled into the crowd like the US military and started
attacking anyone and everyone, as long as they were innocent and were doing
nothing. Hemel fans and One Direction were having none of it either and started
to defend themselves and their band mates. What should have been a very simple
thing to sort out by security quietly and calmly asking fans to please not bang
on the corrugated fence turned into a very ugly situation by security acting
all American. Sutton, if you’re reading this and I know that you are. Get this
sorted before the next game. They and you won’t get away with it against a
larger and more experienced crowd.
Half
time arrived sooner than we’d expected. Plans had already been made to walk
around to the stand on the side of the pitch and “take it”. It had housed
Sutton fans who, if I’m allowed to be honest, had contributed nothing what so
ever to the atmosphere of the game. Frankly I don’t know how Sutton players and
staff put up with them, but, maybe it’s easy when you don’t know anyone is
actually there.
By
the time we’d staggered out of the club shop for the second time the second
half had started. We joined One Direction in the freshly taken stand and
continued where we’d left off from the first half in creating an atmosphere in
a way that only One Direction can.
The
second half was a strange affair. Hemel continued to take the game to Sutton or
at least try to. Sutton did their best in going for the second goal and killing
off the game. Hemel players were going down like flies, I’m guessing because of
being stuck on the M25 for almost three hours and then having no warm up. While
One Direction were busy doing what they do best. At one point a group of Sutton
fans chanted “UNITED!” Well I say “fan(s)”, I presume it was more than one fan,
but it was hard to tell. Really, that’s the best that they can do? We’re going
to have to have a word…
Just
before full time Sutton got the second goal which killed off the game. A Hemel player
stumbled, on the edge of the box, on or over the ball, or a blade of grass, or
simply lost the ability to stand on his feet because of fatigue. It was the
cruellest of cruel blows.
The
goal was greeted by the One Direction boys going proper potty. Singing.
Dancing. You’d have thought it was the other way around. That Hemel had gone
0-2 up. Just where were the Sutton fans.
I
suddenly realised that time was starting to work against us.
The
Ref blew for full time. We made our way out of the ground. One Direction are
still going at it. I fail in finding Tony or anyone else from Hemel’s staff
(I’m secretly happy that it happened that way because I’m not sure I could have
coped with the goodbyes) and we leave the ground.
We
got to the train station just in time to not catch our train. As we waited for the
next train I realised that we really might not make our train out of Euston and
I began making plans for a taxi…
Then,
at 22.08, while chatting to some Hemel fans and one Sutton fan, we heard One
Direction, who were still at it. I smiled like a loony and listened as closely
as I could. I’m so going to miss them. I’m going to miss everyone from Hemel,
but those One Direction boys really are very special indeed. It’s at that point
that Stuart Roy Clarke introduced himself. It’s at that point that I grovelled
an apology, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t recognised him, I’d only been
watching his videos a few days earlier. Later he told me how he’d watched me
listening to One Direction.
We
all dive on the next train and part at Wimbledon but not before swopping
contact details and telling tales of past adventures and dreams.
We
dive off at Euston Square and run up the Euston Road just like the journalist
from War of The Worlds. We got to Euston with literally seconds to spare and
while trying to take a photo of the name plague on the side of the train the
doors bleeped and started to close.
RESULT!
A train full of Arsenal fans. I love meeting Arsenal fans. They look at my
Walsall shirt. The banter starts. They’ve just lost to Chelsea in the Cup. The
banter continues. YEAH! YEAH! Go check you’re smart phone, look up our head to
head… and off they sulked… HA! HA! HA!
Wolverhampton,
ALREADY!? Still, it looked a lot better in the dark. We left close to 02.30 and
made our way north. The M6 was closed so we joined a long train of HGV’s
working our way north via the A roads of Staffordshire before re-joining
wherever the hell it was we re-joined it.
We
finally got home at 06.30 on Wednesday.
Before
I end this, I would just like to say THANK YOU to all of the players and staff
from Hemel Hempstead Town FC who have made me feel so very welcome. When I
started this FA Cup trail the only thing that I hadn’t given any thought to was
the “goodbyes”. It had never entered my head. I’d never given it a first thought
never mind a second one.
As I write/type this, it’s Saturday night, my daughter is playing
computer games, The Big Bang Theory is on in the back ground and I’m almost in tears.Just like with St Margaretsbury FC, every last one of you has made me feel part of your club, your family, and, I’m going to miss seeing you all every other weekend.
AND,
just like St Margaretsbury’s Gary Stock and Richard Palette I want to express a
very special thank you to Tony Conway, without you, this adventure would not have
been as easy as you’ve made it. THANK YOU!
Finally,
to One Direction,
You’re
01442
You’re
01442
You
know you are
I
know you are
You’re
01442…
AND
DON’T YOU EVER FORGET IT!
“Let’s
all do the lobster…”
Noggin
xx
P.S. For anyone who doesn't know who Stuart Roy Clarke is here are two of his films.
Homes
of Football
True
football Colours
