The FA Cup. Part 8.

Saturday, 12^th October 2013

Third Round Qualifying

Hemel Hempstead Town v Dulwich Hamlet

Vauxhall Road

Hemel Hempstead

HP2 4HW

K.O. 3.00pm

Half time 1-1

Final score 3-1

0-1 Erhun Oztumer  23 mins

1-1 Ben Mackey  26 mins

2-1 Lewis Toomey  48 mins

3-1 Charlie Mpi  72 mins

Attendance 949

Miles travelled approximately 60

Nothing to do today except go and watch the best team in Europe play their 200^th FA Cup game against Dulwich Hamlet in the FA Cup Third Qualifying Round. To mark the event I dug out my Walsall FC rugby shirt, it seemed the right thing to do.

Jump in the car and I put the Sex Pistols in the CD player,

“March… March… March… March… March…

Doo-be… Doo-be… Doo-be… Doo-be… Doo-be… Do… Do… Do… Do… Do…

Cheap holiday in other peoples misery!

I don’t wanna a holiday in the sun

I wanna go to the new Belsen

I wanna see some history

So Hemel’s 200^th cup game, it is for me… “

I arrive at the ground, park the car, “Hello Noggin”, said someone I’ve never meet before, as I stepped from the car, “Hello mate, how are ya?” I replied. Well that was weird, I thought to myself.

I buy my programmes and watch the Ref park his car, how did I know he was the Ref, his number plate “**** REF”. The linesman said, “I hadn’t noticed the number plate”… *SIGH*

More of the usual photos before making my way into the ground. “Hello Noggin”, said someone else, while looking at my Walsall shirt, “I knew you weren’t Orient”, he continued. What I was about to learn, is that the Hemel programme editor, had lifted Part 6 of this blog thing and had printed the whole thing in their Redditch programme last Saturday, which is fine by me, what isn’t fine by me is that he wrote I was an Orient fan. He better start running…

Just as all of that was happening I bumped into BT Sport who were now filming Dave Boggins – Hemel Chairman, who was now making his way outside to help reverse the Dulwich Team Coach into the car park.

While chatting to BT Sport Tony rocks up in his civvies, I hardly recognised him. Introductions are made and then he tells me that he’s forgot my ticket. You just can’t get the staff can you… Ha! Ha! Ha!

Dulwich fans start to arrive in force, most comment on my Walsall shirt and then mention Arsenal in in the FA Cup in 1933. WOW!

Into the bar. I bump into Ian. “Noggin, I’ve got something for you, would you like a beer?” He said, “Erm.. yeah, OK, lager shandy please I’m driving” I replied. We found a table, he opened his ruck sack and then he handed me two items.

The first was book entitled “Journey To Wembley” by Brian James, who in the season 1976/77 did every round of the FA Cup starting with Hinckley Athletic v Tividale. The winners that year were Man Utd who beat Walsall at Old Trafford in Rd3 (1-0, Hill) in front of 48,870 fans.

The second was a programme from Arsenal v Walsall, FA Cup Rd5, 1977/78 (Arsenal 4 Walsall 1 – we have to let them win sometimes…) 43,736 watched us get battered. Inside the programme was a two page special on the 1933 FA Cup defeat to Walsall – the greatest cup shock ever – as it became known. It even gets mentioned in “Fever Pitch”.

“You can have them”, he said. Remember that Monty Python moment I mentioned at St Margaretsbury? What do you say, when “Thank you” isn’t enough? (There’s a song in their somewhere…). More drinking and chatting before we suddenly realise that it was 2.45pm.

I rushed out to the car put my book and programme in the boot and went back into the ground… HA! HA! HA! Really, can you imagine doing that in the later rounds?

I found myself by the tunnel as it was being pulled out. Why don’t Durex sponsor those tunnel things? Think about it. They start small. They expand. They are ribbed. They shrink and return to their normal size. Durex, if you’re reading this, YOU’RE MISSING A TRICK!

Anyone out there want to offer me a job in marketing or advertising?

While I was in the bar being floored by an imaginary big fish someone had decide to let in close to 1,000 fans. I made my way to my now usual place behind the goal where the One Direction boys were making one hell of a noise. The twelfth  man is alive and well. I wonder if they know how much of a difference they make. The terrace is rocking. Properly rocking. But where is Caroline Flack? *SIGH*

The game kicks off and Hemel are playing down the slope as usual. Why do they play down the slope in the first half? The now usual domination of the game by Hemel, with the now usual missing of chances, time and time again. Dulwich stand their ground and take the game to Hemel as much as Hemel take it to Dulwich.

On 23 mins Dulwich work a nice little break away and a delicate chip from Erhun Oztumer leaves the Hemel keeper stranded. Everyone watched as the ball landed in the bottom corner of the goal. A glassy finish. Well worth the admission price alone.

One Direction continue to rock the place and Hemel continue to attack, on 26 mins Ben Mackey scores and the game settles into more missed chances for both teams. This is easily the best team I’ve seen play against Hemel. All the games I’ve seen so far have been well played (apart from London Tigers – still a stupid name) but this was a step up. The next level. This might read a little bit daft, but, after watching England v Montenegro last night,  I know which one was is the better game and I know which one I’d rather pay money to see.

The following paragraph contains language that you and I use every day but you may find offensive. There you go, you have my permission, be offended… go smell yourselves…

One Direction are rocking the place and then the chant goes up “What the fucking hell is that, what the fucking hell is that?” Now, this isn’t an excuse for “F’ ing and blinding”, it’s a social comment. This wasn’t “Fuckin’”, it wasn’t “Fookin’”, it wasn’t “Fackin’”, it was “Fucking”. This is Hertfordshire. They don’t drop the “G” here. It made me laugh. It was just like hearing your little old granny swear. It continued for the rest of the game. Chanting in the Queen’s English (There’s an album in their somewhere…).

The One Direction boys remind me of Walsall fans. Very quick witted. Very funny and they make a lot of noise, but what was that chant… No lyrics, just drumming and la… la… la… la… and then one hell of a time change before, der… der… der… der… or was it the other way around, who’d have thought that One Direction were into Prog Rock.

Back to the football. Hemel, in the last three times I’ve seen them have shown a flaw in their armour. They create chances, lots of chances, an obscene amount of chances and then they promptly miss them, time and time and time again. The other team then goes up the other end and scores, before Hemel, finally stick it in the net. Eventually, Hemel will miss their chances, the other team will go up the other end and score, before Hemel, continue to miss their chances. Eventually Hemel are going to get beaten by their own missed chances. They won’t lose to a better team. They will beaten by themselves and we all know what happens when you beat yourself… you go blind… (Sorry I couldn’t resist… hahaha…).

Everybody blinked and half time arrived. Straight into the bar. Colchester 1 Walsall 0 *SIGH* No chance of a Bovril as the queue looked like an advert for “4Gee”. I dive into the club shop and get my hands on the Redditch programme… Orient fan indeed…

The second half started as I walked around the pitch to the other end, where the Hemel fans had de-camped after the Dulwich fans had moved to the end that were previously in. It’s just like the good old days, everyone swops ends, everyone is mixed in together and there’s a fantastic atmosphere, well, in our end anyway… hahaha… “Look, here comes the Walsall massive”, shouted someone as I found my spot.

Three minutes into the second half and Hemel score a goal that is so slick that Greenpeace were already on the phone bitching about it… One Direction were going at it like one night stand in an alley and the game moved on at a cracking pace.

Attack after attack arrived at both defences. The ref let the game flow, the linesmen played their part too, by not being too flag happy. This really was damn good stuff. The more Dulwich went looking for the equaliser then more Hemel passed straight through their weakened midfield and defence, time after time the Dulwich keeper keep them in the game, while the Hemel keeper got a proper good whacking when he rushed out to the edge of the box going one on one. He went down and stayed down but he let the game go on and didn’t wave for the game it to be stopped. I know where my man of the match would have gone.

The One Direction boys started a chant aimed at the Dulwich No. 6 “Lewis Gonsalves”, “Shit Dani Alves, you’re just a shit Dani Alves”… Lewis laughed out aloud and applauded the crowd, a few minutes later he made a stunning block, 100% guaranteed goal, which flew out for a corner.

This was just like Witham all over again. Dulwich had to go for it and they did and Hemel picked them off.

The game started to get a little disjointed as one or two substitutions were made, before it settled down again. The Hemel substitution paid off when Charlie Mpi put Hemel 3-1 up on 72 minutes. While Jerome Walker got a straight red for scything down a Hemel player a classic case of red mist.

Just before full time, the Man of The Match was announced, which went to Hemel’s Ben Mackey, who on hearing it went, yes and punched his fist in a “come on!” type style way. No, Mr Mackey, you are supposed to be humble in being awarded such an honour, it is a team game, 11 against 11, not 01 against 11, STILL, it was funny, VERY funny and it’s good to see that he cares and gives damn. I hope he bought the drinks (orange juice of coarse…) especially for his keeper.  

By now the Sun had set behind the stand and the air temperature started to drop. The air got damp and that familiar smell of damp earth started to arrive. I love that smell, it reminds me of midweek games, proper flood lights - instead of those stupid things that are bolted onto the edges of roofs making the grounds look like those Audi cars and their Chav Lights – as much as I like to watch football in warm dry weather, I love the cold winter games and that smell.

The Ref blew for full time and One Direction boys went proper potty. A full five minute after the game and they were still at it.

We know what we are

We know what we are

The best team in Europe

We know what we are…

Straight into the bar, Colchester 1 Walsall 1, 90+7 mins. At least I now know where Fergy was today. Seriously, 97 minutes?

I grabbed hold of the drummer from One Direction and asked about that chant, he told me about “Dale Cavese”, I’d never heard of it. *Hangs my head in shame*

Lots of chatting in the bar. Plans for the next round were being made. I really need a home draw at worse and an away draw up north at best, simply because I’m off to Cumbria straight after the next game to spend half term with my daughter.

Just after 8pm I finally staggered out of the bar. Sober. *SIGH*

Roll on Monday and the Cup draw…

Noggin xx

P.S. As a footnote once I got home I Googled two things.

The first was Walsall v Arsenal 1933 and this link was on the top of the list. The weird thing is that it carries a scan from the programme that Ian had given me earlier. Really, what are the odds?

http://angryofislington.com/2012/05/30/arsenal-v-walsall-1933-the-greatest-cup-upset-ever/

The second was Dale Cavese, the first link shows the history of “The Dale Song” and how it moved around the world http://youtu.be/87juYGYoLAU while the second is a Wiki link to the man and his song http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moliendo_Caf%C3%A9

Without doubt the best version of The Dale Song that I’ve heard is by One Direction. Someone should upload it to You Tube... Just a thought...