The FA Cup. Part 16.

Saturday, 15^th February 2014

Fifth Round Proper

Sunderland AFC v Southampton

The Stadium of Light

Sunderland

SR5 1SU

K.O. 12.45pm

Half time 0-0

Final score 1-0

1-0 Graig Gardner  49 mins

Attendance 16,777 (away 859)

Miles travelled approximately 290 (not including the 425 miles)

STUPID!

Yeah. That’s the word. If you ever needed proof that the people who run the game don’t know what they are doing then there it was. Frankly, they couldn’t run a bath.

The FA Cup 5^th Round draw threw up some interesting ties. Once the replays had been played the two ties that stuck out like a sore thumb were Brighton v Hull and Sunderland v Southampton.

Brighton and Hull are approximately 280 miles apart while Sunderland and Southampton are approximately 320 miles apart giving fans a 4 hour 30 minute and 5 hour 30 minute journey time respectively.

So what do the powers that be decide to do? Show them live on TV. Not at a normal time, but 7.45pm on Monday and 12.45pm on Saturday, respectively.

If you still haven’t figured it out yet, it would mean that any Hull fan would need to leave Hull at 2pm at the absolute latest on a Monday, giving them an approximate returning home time of 3am Tuesday. While Southampton fans would have to leave at 5am at the latest on Saturday morning. 

Here is the full draw with the TV times. Draw your own conclusions.

Arsenal v Liverpool   BT SPORT Sunday KO 4pm

Brighton & Hove Albion v Hull City   BT SPORT Monday KO 7.45pm

Cardiff City v Wigan Athletic

Everton v Swansea City   ITV SPORT Sunday KO 1.30pm

Manchester City v Chelsea   ITV SPORT Saturday KO 5.15pm

Sheffield United v Nottingham Forest

Sheffield Wednesday v Charlton Athletic

Sunderland v Southampton   BT SPORT Saturday KO 12.45pm

It’s Friday 14^th, it’s 4.15pm, I’m in Barnet, it’s still raining, I’m still soaked from my last delivery in Kilburn, my phone starts to ring. I answer it. It was Chris from Sunderland AFC. We chat. God! He talks more than me (I shall pause while you all insert your own punch lines to your own jokes… Finished? May I continue? You’re very kind…) I felt an instant attraction to him. He’s as bonkers as me. Brilliant!

Before we hang up we arrange a meeting time and place for Saturday, Chris also offered me his parking space for the day. Here comes that big fish from St Margaretsbury.

By the time I’d finished work and get home it’s close to 9.30pm and I finally stagger into my bed at 10.30pm.

3AM! My alarm goes off and I wake up with a big smile on my face like I used to do when I was a boy knowing my favorite toy was waiting for me exactly where I’d left it.

A quick look online to find a post from Jason on the IMFC Football Forum stating that Tom Finney had died. *SIGH!*

4am and I’m leaving. A quick short cut past the oncoming floods. M11. A14. A1. A1(M). The Moon looked good. The miles fly by. The 80’s compilation CD takes me to a place along time past. My mind starts to wonder. First loves. Loves lost. The dreams I had shattered, the hearts I broke and vice versa. THAT girl. The ONE. I wonder where she is now. Married? Kids? Happy? I hope she’s happy. I hope she’s not out there somewhere thinking of me. What a waste that would be. Strange the things that go through your mind…    

Wetherby arrived a lot sooner than I thought it would. I quickly dived into the services, before continuing north bound.

8.45am and I’m racing into Sunderland. Because of the lack of traffic every landmark I’d looked up before travelling is flying by, a few miles later and I’m completely disorientated.

9am. I arrive at The Stadium of Light. It was the same view I’d seen all those years ago with Walsall. Security stopped me. I explained who I was, who Chris was and the parking bay number. I park the car and while taking photos of some people on the roof of the stadium Chris arrives.

A few minutes later and we’re in his office drinking coffee. If he’d had been a girl I’d have kissed him. I tell him my story while he tells me his. I want his job. Not here but at Walsall FC. He’s truly living the dream.

I tell Chris the same thing that I’ve told everybody else that I’ve spent time with, “Anything you say to me, stays with me and doesn’t go in the blog”. We continue to gossip like it’s a newly invented Olympic sport.

We come from different generations but we see the game in a surprisingly similar way. Maybe the future of football is in safe hands after all.

As a side note, during E Mails to and from each other over the last two weeks, I just happened to mention that my new Depot Manager is from Sunderland and a fan. While we chatted in his office Chris started to rummage around before handing me an envelope full of match day programmes and signed photos for my Depot Managers son. I know were on the coast but how many fish do you think I need… SLAP!

As the time moved towards 10.30am we made our way to the Main Entrance where Chris had arranged to meet up with Keith. Keith is doing the same as me, but he’s doing it for charity. His wife has MS so Keith is raising money for MS.

Once the introductions had been made Chris took us into the stadium and a tour of the memorabilia before taking us down to pitch side and the dug outs. God that stadium looks big when you’re at pitch level. Back up into the maze of corridors that never end – did I just see a white rabbit with a pocket watch…? Door after door after door, Chris opened everyone and made sure Keith or I went through first, not once did he go through first – yes Chris I was watching – eventually we emerge into day light in the Black Cats bar which is a massive bar area behind the goal taking up the whole width of the pitch.

Chris showed us around the ground like a proud father showing of his new born. Sunderland staff went about their individual duties. Everyone knew their place. Everyone knew what to do. No one spoke. That familiar well-oiled machine that I’d witnessed before.

Chris whispered something to another member of staff, within seconds the staff member had returned with, match day programmes, tickets for the South Stand right behind the goal (Row 5) and vouchers for food and passes so that we could get back into the bar at half time and full time. OK! Enough with the fish.

Chris went off to do his usual duties for the day and other Sunderland staff came over and introduced themselves. The staff members that spoke to us basically put themselves at our use. They were falling over themselves to help, to be friendly, to be honest, it wasn’t that slimy Americanized nonsense that you sometimes bump into, it was people just genuinely wanting to help.

While Colin was telling us about Jimmy Montgomery who should walk up, only Jimmy F*****G Montgomery (and yes it does state that on his birth certificate). We did the photo thing. I also asked about Tom Finney and should we have a minutes silence instead of a minute’s applause.  We all agreed that people should stand still and shut up. The only problem is that the decision had already been made to have a minute’s applause. More nonsense that clutters up the game.

I popped back into the empty stadium to take more photos. Stewards started to take their posts. TV crews ran around making final touches.

The KO was fast approaching. I went back to the car to pick up my ticket and get some cash from the cash point. Hemel Hempstead anyone?

Once back inside the Black Cats Bar I continued to listen to Keith and why he was doing what he was doing and the other adventures that he’s had while raising funds for MS. I wish I’d had thought about doing this for charity. I must be honest, I felt pretty daft for not doing so.

Eventually Keith and I went off to find our seats. I was originally up in the West Stand. While I remember, Sunderland had capped the prices for the game at £15 for adults £5 for OAP and Kids. Another nice touch from a club that didn’t have to do it.

The teams arrive, that stupid handshake, the minute’s applause for Tom Finney and we’re all ready to go.

The game kicked off. Southampton fans were making all the noise. They had bought about 500-ish fans. The ground was empty. Sunderland are going through that classic case of Cup Final fatigue, there is only so much money to go around. They have Arsenal away next Saturday which has sold out. It’s a shame that the 5^th Round takes the hit.

The game itself was like a gynaecological examination - wide open with no penetration. The first half whizzed by, with nothing really happening with nobody or team willing to take the game by the scruff of the neck, which was a shame, because the team that did it would win it. It was literally there for the taking.

Half time arrived and I went back up to the Black Cats bar. Where did all those people come from?

I looked up at one of the dozens of large screen TV’s hanging from the ceiling to see Jake Humphrey talking to whoever he was talking to in the studio, then I heard him say – while talking about the small crowd – something along the lines of, “Something has to be done”. Mr Humphrey you are a TIT!

Here is a solution straight away. Stop putting games on at 12.45pm. Go back to the top of this blog and start reading it again. I spy with my little eye something beginning with “Mobius Strip”.

So the FA has a product that they think they can sell and make a profit. Fine. TV companies want to buy the product because they think they can sell advertising space off the back of it and make a profit. Fine. So far so good.

The problem arises when the TV companies decide when the KO is. Suddenly, TV companies are not showing games that are taking place, they are moving KO’s in the hope of attracting a viewing audience in the hope of making money, it doesn’t matter about the fan who will continue to go to the game when the TV cameras are not there. All that matters is the hope of making money. By doing that they then start forcing games into TV schedules where they simply don’t belong. The fan who goes every week, now find themselves in the position of trying to get to a game at an unnatural time for a KO, so, the crowd is a lot less than it should be, would normally be, which results in some presenter on TV complaining about the lack of a crowd. Mobius Strip anyone?

But I guess no one really cares. The FA hope to make money. The TV companies hope to make money. The clubs hope to make money (TV revenue). This is not investment in the game of football. This is not even prostitution because that is a straight transaction of funds for services rendered. In my opinion, what is happening to football is gambling.

While all of that is going on, the fan struggles to get to the game.

No one likes us

No one likes us

No one likes us, we don’t care

We love football, we love football

No one likes us, they don’t care…

While I’m up in my ivory tower, remember Leon from BT Sport? He wasn’t at the game today. They’ve cancelled that road to Wembley thing that they were doing. They have four rounds left, 5^th, 6^th, Semi Final and Final. Draw your own conclusions.

I missed seeing Leon today. He was a constant. Seeing him at the games was like looking at a jigsaw puzzle when you’ve only got a few pieces left, you knew you nearing the finished picture. I shall miss him.

Before I leave my ivory tower here are some facts and figures for you.

Next Saturday is Arsenal v Sunderland. Adults £35.50 OAP’s £15.50 Kids £10.00 Travel £? Car? Coach? Train? Food, drinks, match day programme, souvenirs.

The following, SUNDAY! Man City v Sunderland League Cup Final. KO 2pm. Tickets £40.00 £56.00 £72.00 and £100.00 Coach £40.00 Train? Hotel? Food, drinks, match day programme, souvenirs. Day off from working the following Monday? Do you know how difficult it is to get from London to Sunderland on a Sunday evening/night?  What happens if it goes into Extra Time?

So, if you were a Sunderland fan. Could you afford to do what they have to do AND still make it to a 12.45pm KO…?

I didn’t hear what Mr Humphrey offered as a solution. Did he offer one?

After failing to meet up with Keith at half time, I decided to use my complimentary ticket for the second half. What a view. Row 5, aisle seat. The only problem was it was raining. Standing in the rain is one thing, sitting in it is another. Back up into the West Stand and my front row seat.

What a bugger, smack bang on 49 minutes Graig Gardner hit a screamer of a shot that clipped the underside of the bar and hit the back of the net before the keeper started to flap at it like a long skirt being blown around in a summer breeze. I promise you’re closer to the ball now then he was then.

I leapt out of my seat like a die hard Sunderland fan. Well that worth getting up at 3am for. I cheered and clapped like my life depended on it. What a goal. If only I’d have stayed in Row 5. D’OH!

If the first half was open then then how do I describe the second half? Both teams just went for it. Both teams wanted to win. It wasn’t the best game, but neither team sat back, simply a good entertaining game of footy. Sunderland could have and maybe should have been 3 or 4 up.

Both teams had chances to finish the game off. Neither did. Southampton started to get more of the game. They started to get more of the chances. I started to think about the possibility of a replay. They were never going to win it, but they did look like getting an equaliser.

Towards the end of the game Southampton had two very clear chances to win the game. They didn’t. Lambert in particular missing a chance that frankly was easier to score than miss. An open goal 2 yards out and he put it over the bar. So, that’s him playing for England in Brazil this summer then. WHAT!?

Southampton pilled on the pressure. Then more pressure. Sunderland just couldn’t clear their lines. One final corner resulted in the keeper going up for it, 22 players all in and around the Sunderland box. Don’t tell me the FA Cup doesn’t mean anything, don’t tell it’s lost it’s magic, 22 professional, international, players desperate to win, to get through to the next round of the Cup. Please don’t tell me it doesn’t matter, because it does. THIS IS THE FA CUP!

I sat there watching through my fingers. The thought of a replay filled me with fear. Another one of those, I know that I can’t make it to the replay moments. If the ref doesn’t blow for full time I’m going to run on the pitch and blow the whistle myself. Ironically I missed the finally whistle because I was busy thinking about Southampton away. Suddenly everyone stood up and cheered. I almost burst into tears.

While I remember, around 70 ish minutes, Southampton’s Steven Davis had the ball about 10 yards inside his own half and about 5 yards from the touchline. He hoofed a diagonal ball up field as the advancing Seb Larsson left his foot in the air. He bought his foot down on the right knee and shin of the planted right leg of Steven Davis. We all cringed. Seb instantly apologised to Steven and Steven just shrugged it off as he continued to move up the pitch. I have not seen the TV footage of the game and I don’t know if it got picked up or mentioned, but both players did the right thing especially Steven Davis.

(If I’ve got the players wrong I will happily correct my mistake).

After the game I made my way back to the Black Cats bar. Keith had already left because he was booked onto an early train.

I watched the seagulls take over the stadium eating up all the waste food that had been left on the floor. The grounds men started to work their magic on the pitch. Seeing a pitch without the goals is still a strange sight.

As I stood there drinking my coffee, people watching, up rocked Chris. He really is as bonkers as me. He really does see the bigger picture. We chatted more about the plans that SAFC have for their future. Presentations are made to Sunderland fans from Ex Players. They really do get it.

Chris then gives me another tour of places that he didn’t have time to take me to earlier. Corporate boxes. Hospitality Suites. Back out to look at the pitch. Quinn’s Bar, which was still full of people eating, drinking, watching TV, making plans for the future, it doesn’t matter what future, what matters is that were spending money there and not somewhere else. We even found a Walsall FC shirt in a frame.

We finally staggered out the ground at 15.45 only to be passed by the Southampton team coach, which looked stunning, in all the excitement of the day I’d forgotten to take photos of Southampton’s arrival.

I said my final thank you and goodbye to Chris before going into town to do the post card thing. He even offered me a lift into town. Next time I’ll bring a trawler to take all the fish home with me.

I got back to my car at 16.30 a quick stop off at the BP garage around the corner and by 16.45 I was on the way to Cumbria to pick up my daughter.

As I travelled towards the A66 I saw the Southampton team coach leaving Newcastle on the A69. Walsall FC on the M25 anyone?

At 392 miles I got to Cumbria at 19.15 and by the time we got to our hotel I just crawled into bed somewhere to close to midnight for my own good.

We finally got back home on Sunday 16^th, at 16.15, 716 miles later and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Finally, let me give my last thoughts to Keith and his wife. As I mentioned before, Keith’s wife has MS. Keith raises money for MS by doing things like this. I wish I’d have thought about doing this for charity. It’s a little too late for me to do anything about it now, but it’s not too late to give you this. Here is a link to Keith’s charity page.

www.justgiving.com/keith-raymond/

Its well worth a visit just to see some of the items that have been donated by some of the clubs Keith has been to.

Noggin xx

The FA Cup. Part 15.

Saturday, 25^th January 2014

Fourth Round Proper

Sunderland AFC v Kidderminster Harriers

The Stadium of Light

Sunderland

SR5 1SU

K.O. 3.00pm

Half time 1-0

Final score 1-0

1-0 Charis Mavrias  04 mins

Attendance 25,081 (away 3,873)

Miles travelled approximately 600

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE!

As soon as I got home after the Peterborough replay I went straight to bed and stole 5 hours of sleep from somewhere before going off to do another 15 hour shift. I got home on Wednesday and sent (the lovely) Helen McDonald an E Mail asking about buying a Sunderland ticket. By the time I’d got home on the Thursday there was a reply from (the lovely) Helen McDonald telling me that she had put a ticket in the post and by the time I’d got home on the Friday I was the proud owner of a ticket.

The only negative about it being Sunderland was that there was two. The first was the distance. Drive or train? I went off to play with time tables to see if it was possible before seeing about staying in Cumbria to see my daughter. The second was the fact it was Sunderland. I’d done Sunderland in the League Cup with Walsall in 1999 and we had been treated so badly by the staff that I’ve had a pathological hate of Sunderland ever since. I would quite happily have dragged the place into the North Sea and sunk it.

So there you have it. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to going back to Sunderland.

To add an extra twist to the coming events Sunderland had managed to beat Man Utd in the League Cup Semi Final, but only after Extra Time and penalties. This threw up two possibilities. The first was would Sunderland be exhausted and would that mean team changes? The second was would Sunderland experience the game after the Lord Mayors Show?

While all of that was going on Sunderland had decided that the price for the Rd4 tickets would be £10.00 I wasn’t expecting that and it was a nice touch from a club that didn’t have to do it. If that wasn’t enough the Kidderminster Chairman had said that they would subsidise the travel to Sunderland but only for the first TWENTY coaches making it possible to travel to Sunderland for £10.00

Here were two football clubs who were doing their best to bring the FA Cup to as many people as they could. I’d lost my heart to Kidderminster months ago but I was now starting to soften up to Sunderland.

On paper, this should be a walk over. Frankly, it didn’t matter. They could be losing 37-0 at half time. Kidderminster’s Cup Final was a week last Tuesday and they had won. Today’s game was the home coming parade if you like. Today was the cash cow that they truly deserved. I only hope that they drop the price for their next home game in the hope of keeping hold of some of the people that went to Sunderland.

It was also the first time that both teams had ever met.

My alarm went off at 04.30 by 06.00 I was leaving and I was on the first train out at 06.20 and everything was going well until the train in front of us broke down which meant our train got diverted via Seven Sisters. I dived off at Seven Sisters and tubed it into Kings Cross arriving at 07.10

WOW! Kings Cross looks fantastic, now it’s finished. It used to be a horrible place. Now it’s a bright, vibrant place, a pleasure to be in. Whoever it was that redesigned the station should be knighted.

With an hour to kill, I went off to get coffee. Bloody hell fire the approach to Kings Cross was better than the inside. Two Knighthoods please. Straight into McDonalds, food, drink, and a seat by the window.

I love London and I love London in the morning. I love how she quietly purrs like a kitten. This is another reason why I love my job. I often feel like one of those Oompa Loompas. No one sees us, we just do our jobs so that people can get on with their lives. Now I could sit and watch other people do what I do.

As I stared out of the window I started to think of all the miles that I’d travelled and all of the people that I’d meet over the last six months. Especially the people. Gary and Richard at St Margaretsbury, Tony at Hemel Hempstead, Leon from BT Sport, (the lovely) Helen McDonald at Kidderminster and everyone else that I only got to spend one game with and I started to lose it, my bottom lip started to go and I got embarrassingly emotional. I then thought about my daughter and how I was going to be so close to seeing her while actually not seeing her… GAME OVER! Complete breakdown. Still it will look good on CCTV somewhere.

08.11, my train left on time and I got some sleep until “Bing Bong”, a freight train in front of us between Doncaster and York had broken down, we were now going to go the long way around putting 40 minutes on our journey time giving me an ETA of 12.30

The train got mobbed at York as loads of City fans made their way up to Hartlepool. They had sold out their allocation taking over a thousand fans. The train manager wish them well on their journey but said that she hopped they lose because she was a Hartlepool season ticket holder… We all just fell about the place.

The north east coast line looked stunning as we slowly made our way to Sunderland. Bright blue skies. Calm sea. Ships in the distance. Well worth getting up at 4am to see.

We pulled into Sunderland at 12.15, late and yet still early. God what a dump and I thought Walsall was bad. THIS is a city? Still the natives were very friendly, “No bother”, and just how cold was it… It was just like Cumbria but without the rain.

I do the post card thing and walk to the ground. Just how high is that bridge… GULP! I loved that sign from The Samaritans, just how bad is it being a Sunderland fan? The walk from the station to the ground took about 15 minutes and included stopping to take far too many photos.

I continued to do my now usual thing of walking around the ground taking photos of everything and anything, whether it moved or not and then it happened… Remember that running joke that Leon and myself have about, “at some point the hospitality will stop… “

As I stood taking a photo of an open gateway looking onto the pitch a steward asked me what I was doing. I told him my story. He told me that this wasn’t his normal section, he was covering for someone, whose son was getting married that morning. He then got another steward to watch the gate before taking me inside an empty Stadium of Light. He led me to the edge of the pitch saying, “Don’t go past the barrier”, and let me take as many photos as I wanted… Ha! Ha! Ha! STICKY MY PANTS!!!

I couldn’t believe it, I was so awe struck with the attitude of the steward and the massive cathedral like void in front of me that my head just span. I felt very small stood there, my legs suddenly felt very heavy. It was kind of like that opening scene from Star Wars when Darth Vader’s ships slowly moves in over the top of the audience. GULP! AGAIN!

Please note that I have deliberately not named the steward in case I get him into trouble. I did thank him by name. The beers are on me.

As I went out of one door and around the corner I bumped into Leon who was doing the same in the opposite direction. He hadn’t seen me inside the ground but the Sunderland staff member with him had and I thanked him for his tolerance of my silliness he just said, “No bother”, with a big grin on his face.

Leon and myself made our way to main entrance to wait for the Kidderminster team coach that was due at 13.30 I ran around like a headless chicken trying to take even more photos before that rain arrived and we could see it coming from over the horizon and it wasn’t looking good.

GOD! It was cold…

Kidderminster arrived with an escort from the Mounted Police which was very impressive. Gash came back out later to pose for photos which personally I thought was a lovely touch.

Kidderminster fans arrived in force. It and they looked stunning. Cameras swooped on them like birds of prey. Images taken and banked that might just pay big money should Kidderminster win.

Leon and myself walked around the stadium shooting video and taking photos, mixing with fans, soaking up the atmosphere, swopping plans and ideas. More on that later. Maybe…

The rain arrived. Rain comes in little round spots and not buckets… right? Next time I’ll just go and jump into the river, I’d be a lot drier. You’ve never seen so many people move so quickly in your life. People shattered in all directions. I was already making my way to the club shop where by the time I’d arrived they were mopping the floor.

While all of that was going on I got news off Nick that he was in the Wild Boar pub in Houghton-Le-Spring. I later found out that one of the two coaches that had travelled up and left without them while they were in the supermarket next door stocking up on health food, salad and fruit. Well part of that sentence is correct. Eventually they got to the ground thanks to the second coach taking pity on them while others were still in the pub leaving them to make their own way to the ground.

By now I’d had enough. Everything I tried to buy from the shop had sold out. I was soaking wet. I was hungry. I was cold. I was going inside.

How many steps? Still the quotes that they have on the walls made me smile and by the time I’d reached to top I was giggling like a school girl and warming up nicely from the exercise.

Where was everyone? The Kiddi end was filling up nicely while there was an obvious lack of Sunderland fans. I made my way to the top far corner to take a photo of the opposite corner where I’d taken a photo from earlier on, if that makes any sense.

I wondered around the away end meeting people, taking photos. The more I wondered around taking photos and meeting people the more the lack of Sunderland fans stuck out. To make things worse, the Sunderland fans that were there weren’t really adding anything to the experience or atmosphere.

Kick off arrived. Cameras clicked. More images banked. More of that stupid corporate, let’s all be friends, hand shaking nonsense, that is forced upon everyone, before players dive and cheat and spit and swear.

The first half got under way with both teams kicking the wrong way. It wasn’t until half way through the second half that I realised that it was because the “Away End” has been moved to where it is now, meaning Sunderland had both ends while we were stuck in the upper tier.

Kidderminster looked fantastic in that purple kit. That was as good as it got.

The game was one way traffic. The Kiddi fans were still making one hell of a racket. Sunderland fans might as well have stayed at home, most of them had. Sunderland had a shot cleared off the line, this was backs to the wall stuff and then on 4 minutes instead of clearing the ball into Row Z Gowling made a lovely little pass in his own area to Mavrias who calmly placed the ball in the bottom corner “One - Nil”. *SIGH*

Then on 9 minutes Gash found himself with ball. Was it a bad back pass? Was it good anticipation? Either way, it didn’t really matter, he dug the ball out from under his feet and managed to get a shot off. The ball slithered under the keeper and we all thought this is it… and it was… the ball span the wrong way and two Sunderland defenders where there to mop up any possibility of a goal. GAME OVER!

This led to me sending the text of the day, “GASH is a TW*T”. Cruel. Harsh. Funny.

The rest of the first half flew by which was strange considering that it was so one sided. It really was men against boys. The Gulf between the two teams was massive. I’d seen this a few times in the FA Cup. Eventually one team plays against another team that are truly in a different class and its all that they can do to hold their shape.

Kidderminster had got a game plan and they stuck to it. The only problem is, if the team you’re playing against is that good, then holding your shape takes all of your energy. It tests your discipline not only at an individual level but at a team level.

Half time arrived a lot sooner than it should have. I went off in search of Nick. Just how bonkers is that. All the beer on one floor. All the food on another floor. Toilets on all three… erm… or was it four…  The away end is like that 3D chess board that they use in Star Trek. I went in one door and I came out of another… in a different part of the ground. I did eventually find Nick or did he find me either way it was a week next Tuesday.

I also found a TV, Notts County 0 Walsall 3 … SEE I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WEIRD WAS GOING ON!!

The second half continued in the same vain as the first. Sunderland couldn’t break down the Kidderminster defence while Kidderminster couldn’t produce enough energy to push through the Sunderland midfield. Sunderland where left to long range shots while Kidderminster tried to go direct to Gash up front but with no one there to support him it was always a wasted ball.

It wasn’t until after Kidderminster made a double substitution on 70 minutes that things started to happen and for the last 10 minutes Kidderminster really went for it and the game opened up. The only problem with Kidderminster going for it is that Sunderland picked them of and vice versa. Doing this from the opening minute would have made for a much better game, it would also have meant that Kidderminster lost by a cricket score.

As it was Sunderland won 1-0 and that’s all that people will see in the record books.

After the final whistle all the players grouped together along with the officials and congratulated each other. I think they all understood the effort that Kidderminster had put in who in return, I think, understood the politics of what Sunderland had done with fielding a completely changed team from the Semi Final winning team.

Everyone walked away a winner.

It took ages to get out of the ground and down all of those steps. Once out it was an easy 15 minute walk back to the station, which was nice because I was booked on the 17.29

The train left on time and I’m happy to say that all of my prejudices about Sunderland were put to bed. Everyone I met simply could not have been more helpful or welcoming and secretly I’m looking forward to going back. Next time I’ll do it properly. 

The train was calm, relaxed, uneventful, until Hartlepool.

Firstly a young kid and his Dad got off the train in a full Kidderminster strip including his football boots (the young kid was wearing the kit – not his Dad).

Secondly all of those York City fans I’d met earlier in the day got back on the train with a very heavy BT Police escort. Chaos. Total mayhem. Standing room only. I’ve never seen so much beer in my life. The old women next to me tried to convert some of their “lads” to God… You couldn’t make it up, I don’t think she understood what the hell was going on but trying to convince a load of lads to follow the way of the Lord was a sight to be seen. I can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed so much or so hard. Gentlemen, wherever you are, thank you.

About 6 Kidderminster fans got off at Kings Cross. I eventually got home at 11pm. I put the TV on just in time to see the highlights of the game. I’m impressed that they found enough footage to show.

Today had been a great day. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Kidderminster fans will talk about this Cup run forever. In 10, 20, 50, 100 years and more, when Kidderminster play in the Cup, when they get another Cup run, when they buy their match day programme, they’ll read about what I’ve just witnessed. I was there.

Where were you?

AND THEN THERE WAS NONE!

Noggin xx

The FA Cup. Part 14.

Tuesday, 14^th January 2014

Third Round Proper Replay

Peterborough United v Kidderminster Harriers

London Road

Peterborough

PE2 8AL

K.O. 7.45pm

Half time 1-0

Final score 2-3

1-0 Tommy Rowe  26 mins

1-1 Michael Gash  48 mins

2-1 Jack Byrne  52 mins

2-2 Britt Assombalonga  74 mins

2-3 Joe Lolley  76 mins

Attendance 3,483 (away 660)

Miles travelled approximately 160

2am. Already? Really? There’s got to be a better way to earn a living… But until I find one, it’s a 3am start and a day out in Croydon. I’m not sure what I did to deserve that but there you go.

Well last week I had 4 drops while this week I had 6 drops with drop No.6 taken off, so I’ve only got 5 drops. Really, you couldn’t make this stuff up. Witham away anyone…?

You’ve got to love Croydon and their one way system. Oh look “Kidderminster Road”, it’s a sign, it’s a sign, it’s a road sign… Ha! Ha! Ha!

By 3pm I was back at base and by 4pm I was on the way to Peterborough and by 5.45pm I was pulling onto the car park.

In one of those weird twists of football fate, the only time I’d done Peterborough was in the FA Cup, Rd3, Tuesday 13^th 1998, Peterborough v Walsall, the game should have been played on Saturday 3^rd 1998 and for reasons which I can’t remember, it was postponed until the 13^th. By the time the game was played we already knew that the winners would be away at Man Utd in Rd4. Just for the record 12,874 fans saw the game, Walsall took 2,281 and Walsall won 0-2 (Peron, Blake). We made one hell of a noise that night and those that were there still talk about it.

Back to tonight, I was now faced with an issue, go and take photos while I could and before the place filled up or go and get food and drink. I decided that taking photos was the better idea and as it turns out I chose right.

Also, while I remember, since the last game between the two clubs Kidderminster have sacked their manager and replaced Steve Burr with Andy Thorne. The Chairman has given a 30 minute interview stating that the club is not up for sale and neither are any of his players. Joe Lolley has been sold to Huddersfield Town and plays his last game for Kidderminster tonight. The Chairman has given Kidderminster fans the chance to travel to the game for only £5 (which the sign of a good Chairman and the sign of a good businessman) and they beat Salisbury 3-0 at home on Saturday moving them to 5^th in the league. Peterborough lost 2-1 away to Swindon.

As I walked around a dark and very cold London Road trying to take photos I couldn’t help but notice how stupidly cold it was. It was painfully cold, bare flesh started to sting within minutes. I’m not exactly sure why it was so cold. I spend all day delivering frozen goods so I don’t normally feel the cold, but I felt this…

I bumped into the Peterborough mascot, which for all the people that don’t know is a bunny and when he’s in character he really is in character and more power to his elbow for doing so. I was later told his name was “Peter Burrow”.

Well that’s something you don’t see every day, a hairdressers at a football ground. No, really, there is a Ticket Office, Club Shop and a hairdresser.

A building site greeted me as I made my way to the away end, the Moy’s stand is being replaced with a new development. I climbed up onto the fence to take a look and some photos of a three sided ground. I’d seen the artist impression of the new stand and it looks impressive.

While I was busy climbing all over the fence on the back of the building site taking photos and generally getting in the way of the stewards who were starting to take their places, Kidderminster arrived. Their team coach is better than the Walsall one, which is embarrassing to say the least.

Then a weird thing happened people came up to me and said hello, shuck my hand, wished me well and continued on their way. I have no idea who they were and why they knew me. Then in the middle of all of that I bumped into some of the Peterborough stewards who I’d meet two Saturdays ago. They came straight over… I turned around and bumped into some of the Kidderminster staff. I thanked them again for all of their help, patience, trust and friendship.

Kidderminster fans suddenly started to arrive in force, it’s at that point I noticed a complete lack of Peterborough fans. I hadn’t noticed it before. Where were they? No, really, where were they…

Into the ground. Bloody hell. Being inside the ground and looking at the building site was even more weird then looking at it from the other side. The stand that we were in was old, very old, wooden seats on cast iron frames. Crumbling concrete. Peeling paint. Just how bad was the other stand if they demolished that one and left this one standing?

More photos and more chatting to more stewards and still no Peterborough fans. Considering they were at home, to a Conference team with the next round away at Sunderland you would have thought they would have turned up in force, well you’d have been wrong. Shameful, yeah that the word for it, shameful.

The Kidderminster end was buzzing (for the record we were in the North Stand from the by-line to the half way line). Singing. Chanting. Laughing. Joking. Hundreds of exited people. Stories of their individual journeys to the ground were told. Speed camera flashes going off. Tea’s missed. Sickies thrown. Cars abandoned in side streets.

Finally the KO arrived. I have no idea who won the toss but they didn’t change ends and didn’t Peterborough show Kidderminster a hell of a lot more respect than what they did two Saturdays ago. Peterborough were stiff and solid and kept their shape like their lives depended on it. The game of football became a game of chess. Neither side wanted to mess this up. It was a little bit like watching 11 aside fencing, cut, thrust, parry, back and forth while conversely just like something that wasn’t stiff and solid there was no real penetration.

Kidderminster fans continued to create a fantastic atmosphere but behind the goal it was silent, empty, a void, a vacuum, a huge black hole where not even light could escape from, while the other was a building site…

Still there was one Peterborough fan with a drum. He tried. Wherever you are, if you’re reading this. Well done sir. 

The pitch was boggy. Players lost their footing very easily. The noise from the Kidderminster fans continued.

On 26 minutes Peterborough scored a soft goal. The kind of goal that gets you dumped out of the Cup. It was a nothing goal. The kind of goal that every football team on planet Earth has conceded. Peterborough broke down the Kidderminster left, a very deep and high cross came in, it was drifting towards the far post and as the keeper, the defender and the forward went for it, everyone missed it, well, apart from the forward who somehow smuggled the ball across the line.

It was such a shame for the keeper who had played so well in the games I’d see him.

The Kidderminster fans went quiet and stayed quiet and continued to stay quiet. It wasn’t looking good. Peterborough didn’t capitalise on their good fortune and to give credit to Kidderminster, they didn’t panic they just continued with their game plan. The teams went into half time at 1-0.

Half time came and went and the second half started as the first ended before taking a twist.

On 48 minutes Gash got the ball in midfield and passed to (Jackman?) on the left wing who delivered a stunning cross, two Kidderminster players pulled three Peterborough players towards to near post, Gash continued his late run into the box slipping his marker and meeting the ball in the middle of the area thundered a bullet of a header passed the keeper who waved at the ball as it past him.

If Brazil score a goal like that in this year’s World Cup it will be on News at Ten.

Drinks and pies went everywhere. Kidderminster fans went mental. Here we go. GAME ON! 

“It’s happening again,

It’s happening again,

Oh Barry Fry, it’s happening again…”

And four minutes later it did just that. Kidderminster broke out of their own box and down the Peterborough left. Lolley ran the length of the pitch before rolling the ball along the 18 yard line where Byrne hit a left foot shot back across the keeper to his left.

BLOODY HELL FIRE! Hysteria… complete, total hysteria. Saying it’s going to happen. Hoping and dreaming that it’s going to happen is not the same as being there when actually does happen.

Let the party begin. The noise just didn’t stop. The game continued and now that Peterborough had to score twice to go through they had to come out and attack and that put a new spin the night. This put Kidderminster in the driving seat, they didn’t have to panic and they didn’t. They continued to play their normal passing game.

PENALTY! Oh no… Peterborough were going nowhere with the ball and instead of just ushering the player and the ball away from danger a very clumsy attempt on the ball was made and I can honestly say that I’m closer to ball right here and now than what the Kidderminster player was.

74 minutes. 2-2. Back to square one.

Straight from the kick off Kidderminster went and won a corner and took a short. Just how stupid was that. No one ever scores from a short corner. The ball was passed across midfield and back again, before Lolley picked it up on the Peterborough left, he cut inside and let fly with a left foot screamer and just like the penalty, I’m closer to the ball now than the keeper was then.

The Kidderminster end erupted. Beyond mental, proper tits up and tonto. The Peterborough players genuinely dropped in size. Every one of them seemed to shrink in height. It was over and everyone in the ground knew it. Even though the goal was timed at 76 minutes, giving us at least 15 minutes to go, there wasn’t going to be any come back from this.

It’s weird how football works like that sometimes. We all knew it was over, it didn’t stop the nerves from creeping in as we all waited for the finally whistle.

HOW MANY MINUTES!? Four? FOUR!? Where the hell is Albert Einstein when you need him? His Special Theory of Relativity is all good and very well, but I bet he couldn’t explain how four minutes passes slower than 240 seconds…

The scenes that greeted the finally whistle will stay with me for the rest of my life. The sounds, the noise, the screams, how do I find the words, where do I find the words, to try to describe what I witnessed.

I do remember catching the eye of the Chairman who was standing proud as a peacock, smiling like the Cheshire Cat, looking at the Kidderminster fans that were going at it like the National Lottery balls as they bounce around that rotating plastic drum.

By the time we’d got out of the ground some of the players had come back out to warm down.

I finally left Peterborough at 10pm. I laughed all the way home. Kidderminster away to Sunderland in Rd4. I thought back to that very first game on that Friday night in August, Hoddesdon v St Margaretsbury and that shirt in the frame from Ware v Kidderminster, when Ware had got to the First Round Proper. If you had said to me then, that… oh you know where I’m going with this…

I arrived home at 11.30pm. I completed my paper work, set my alarm clock, a quick cup of tea and I stickered into bed at midnight.

5am. Already? Really? There’s got to be a better way to earn a living… But until I find one… I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

Noggin xx

The FA Cup. Part 13.

Saturday, 04^th January 2014

Third Round Proper

Kidderminster Harriers v Peterborough United

Aggborough

Kidderminster

DY10 1NB

K.O. 3.00pm

Half time 0-0

Final score 0-0

Attendance 3,858 (away 875)

Miles travelled approximately 295

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Peace and Love to you all.

So nothing to do today… except go and watch FA Cup Rd3 on a STEAM TRAIN! For all the people that don’t know Kidderminster Harriers backs onto Kidderminster train station which is where the Severn Valley Railway operates from. It runs down the Severn valley to Bridgnorth and back.

The plot was to get to Kidderminster nice and early and then take the steam train to Bridgnorth and back. OK! It’s a bit of a cheat, but… you get the idea…

The only problem with my bright idea was, well there were two, the first was Network Rail decided that the best time to do engineering work on my local branch line was to do it on the Saturday of the 3^rd Round of the Cup, closing down the line for the whole weekend. Why can’t they do it at night when nobody is using it? This meant that for me to reach Kidderminster in time I’d have to get up at 4am, drive to Hertford, then train to Kings Cross, Euston, New Street, Moor Street, and Kidderminster. .. *SIGH*

The second problem was that because December and January fails in winter the UK has had some rain, so there are issues with localised floods so the trains might not be running, can you image, rain in winter… whatever next, snow, God forbid we should have five flakes of snow to stop the whole UK rail network from running, still it could be worse, it could be summer and the sun would have warped the lines in the heat... maybe Global Warming is a good thing, we can have summer in winter and winter in summer and maybe the trains will run.

BASTARDS! Really, what is wrong with these people? How do they end up in charge? Its 100 years this year since the start of WWI and it’s 70+ since the start of WWII all of that sacrifice for what…

ANYWAY… rant over, I fuel the car, check the oil, tyres, washer bottle, survival kit and provisions in the boot and I’m ready to go. Network Rail if you’re reading this, that’s how you do it.

I got to Kidderminster at 12 noon only to find the Peterborough Team Coach already parked up outside the ground. I parked up and made my way over. “Noggin”, shouted one of the stewards as I walked across the car park, “What’s going on here?” I asked, “They’re a little bit early aren’t they?” I continued. I was then told the strangest tale of the day, which was that Peterborough had stayed in Birmingham overnight, the coach was here because they had just dropped the kit off, the coach was then going back to Birmingham to pick up the team before coming back to Kidderminster for an ETA of 1.30pm. Network Rail if you’re reading this, please ignore the above paragraph.

While all this was going on the place was swarming with Peterborough United stewards. Maybe 50 plus? The idea was to have the away end stewarded by Peterborough stewards. Um…

My now usual walk around the ground taking photos. Eventually I bumped into Chris Knight who had been up since 5am working on the pitch. The day before Kidderminster had put out a request for any locals willing to help to arrive at 9am with a fork (I’m not sure if that was to work on the pitch or to dig the casserole from the cup).

Chris invited me into the ground to have a look at the pitch, we stood looking at the pitch while the stewards were been shown around the ground and given their individual tasks for the day. The pitch looked in fantastic condition. As I’ve mentioned before, Kidderminster ground share with Worcester City, so it’s taken a lot of hard work to get the games on, not just today’s games either. As we chatted Chris told me in great detail about the amount of time and effort that the ground staff had put into getting today’s game on. I stood there listening while secretly smiling inside my head and thinking of that game at St Margaretsbury all those months ago.

Back outside the ground and the atmosphere had really started to build. The expected 1,000 Peterborough fans had started to arrive in force. The Peterborough Team Coach had returned with the team. I picked my ticket up from the ticket office. Leon arrived with a new assistant, not as pretty as the first one and not female either…

Barry Fry was outside the ground, doing what Barry Fry does best and that’s to act like the World’s Greatest Uncle. I bet he’s a great bloke to go down the pub with, “Christmas with Barry Fry”, now there’s a TV show waiting to be made.

So, back to the game. Once both teams had won their 2^nd Round games, both teams had had a dip in form. Peterborough had lost 3 drawn 1 won 2 while Kidderminster had lost 4 drawn 0 won 1. So, let’s be honest, it wasn’t looking good. This had 0-0 written all over it and a boring 0-0 at that.

I’d got a ticket for the main stand which would mean that I have done all four sides at Aggborough. I made my way into the ground. Got my bearing and made my way to the back row just to the right of the press.

There were only three non-league teams left in this year’s FA Cup, the press could smell blood and they were out in force.

The atmosphere continued to build. The fans started to find their voices. The teams finished their warm up. Last minutes touches were made to the pitch. Cameramen waited at the entrance from the tunnel like lions waiting in The Coliseum.

Eventually the teams came out. Cameras clicked. Fans erupted. That stupid token handshake nonsense continues to get in the way. The toss is lost and the teams change ends. Why do teams do that? YES! I know why they do it, but why do they do it? Surely they have to realise that it just pisses the fans off. I stood there watching while secretly smiling inside my head and thinking of that game at Hemel Hempstead all those months ago.

The keepers didn’t shake hands as they passed on the half way line, never seen that before. The fans booed the keepers as they went into goal mouths, I’ve never seen that either. Did I miss a meeting?

The game kicks off with both teams kicking the wrong way and within 90 seconds Kidderminster hit the bar. I just stood there shaking my head, had Peterborough learnt nothing from Hemel v Sutton?

Well this is exactly what the press had wanted and everyone in Red and white had dreamt of. Peterborough were pinned into their own half. Chance after chance after chance and they all went begging. This was looking good, apart from the fact that at some point the inevitable would happen and Peterborough would get out of their half and have at least one shot on goal.

Eventually, the inevitable did happen, Peterborough did get out of their own half and they did have a shot on goal, the only problem was someone had moved the goal to exactly where it was before the game started, the ball however went straight over the bar and as I write air traffic control are still tracking it.

This was an interesting twist to the game, Kidderminster two divisions below Peterborough were having the better of the game but couldn’t score while Peterborough once they’d got out of their half also couldn’t score and that’s pretty much how the first 45 minutes passed.

The first half flew by. Had Kidderminster blown it? Personally I thought they had. You simply cannot miss that many chances and get away with it. Eventually fitness would take its toll. Eventually chances would be taken, if not by Kidderminster then by Peterborough.

During half time I saw Chris Knight who’d got changed and was doing his corporate hospitality bit by serving the press boys and girls with hot drinks. Non-league football and the whole hearted attitude of the people continue to leave me humbled and long may it continue.

The second half kicked off with both teams still kicking the wrong way and yes you guessed it. Peterborough promptly pinned Kidderminster in their own half. The second half was a carbon copy of the first. Slowly and surely the Kidderminster keeper (Danny Lewis) started to stand out like a sore thumb. This really wasn’t looking good for Kidderminster.

Once in while Kidderminster broke out of their half and went to explore the land that lay beyond the half way line. The advance party soon retreated back into their own half. Further attempts were made on the Peterborough goal only to be met with a combination of poor finishing or good defending.

Kidderminster made a few changes and the game opened up. Danny Lewis continued to stand out making save after save from what was at times a rampant Peterborough.

Then it happened, 86 minutes and another free kick just outside the Kidderminster box. What happened next I’m still trying to get my head around. Did the ball hit the bar twice or three times? Did it go over the line? It all happened so quickly that all me and my camera saw was a blur of yellow as the keeper flew to his right like one of those bright South American birds.

The direct free kick beat the keeper to his right and the ball hit the bar and bounced out and down into the box where it was met by one hell of a scramble. Peterborough then had another go at scoring, two players tried to head the ball over the line while Kidderminster managed to clear it onto the bar again (I think) only to find the ball falling to the feet of a Peterborough player who slammed his shot into the pitch meaning it was going to bounce into the roof of the net until Kidderminster managed to get a head to it were it hit the bar again (I think) the ball then bounced down into the box where a Peterborough player tried to hook it in only to have it roll out for a goal kick. Well, I think that’s what happened.

While all of that was happening, obviously the Peterborough fans thought they had won it, obviously they were wrong. While all of that was happening, obviously the Kidderminster fans thought they had lost, obviously they were wrong. What made it kick off was the fact that Peterborough fans lost face and they weren’t happy about it. Around half a dozen Peterborough fans gestured at the Kidderminster fans in the corner and made a half heart attempt at hand bags at dawn. I’ve seen more violent scenes down my local hairdressers…

A few minutes later and the Ref bought the game to an end. 

Just for the record Danny Lewis was give Man of The Match.

It wasn’t until about 5 minutes after the game that I realised that it meant I had another replay. At least this time it’s a week on Tuesday and not in four days time.

After the game I stayed behind taking photos of the ground as it emptied. The stewards did their sweep of the ground. The press boys and girls continued to work. The grounds men came out and worked their magic. The teams warmed down.

Now I don’t know if someone somewhere made an executive decision to let me stay inside the ground, or if the stewards just let me get on with it, or if everyone just presumed I was with the press, but I didn’t stagger out of Aggborough until close to 5.45pm. I just went where I wanted to go when I wanted to do it.

Chris stepped up from out of nowhere, he’d changed back into his grounds man clothes and all I could think of was the shop keeper and Mr Benn. I thanked him again for earlier in the day.

Eventually I made my way up to the Aggborough Suite where I finally found the Chairman Mark Serrall. It’s taken three games to track him down and I’m glad it happened that way around. I just trust my hand at him, introduced myself and explained who I was and what I was trying to do. I then proceeded to tell him how his staff had looked after me over the last three games. He seemed genuinely puzzled by me and what I was saying but he listened and seemed happy to hear positive things said about his staff. At that very moment up walks (the lovely) Helen Macdonald, “Happy New Year”, she said as she held my hand, “Thank you, for everything that you have done for me”, I stumbled.

So, this is it, or is it? Is this really going to be my last FA Cup game at Kidderminster? I took one last look at the empty ground.

Roll on the Cup draw.

Noggin xx

P.S. This is not a trick photo, it's a real 50p and that really is a spoon standing upright in the soup, sorry "casserole in a cup"...