The FA Vase 2014 – 2015
Introduction
Well, far be it from me to quote Whitesnake but, Here I Go
Again.
It was Ian at Hemel Hempstead last season who suggested
doing the FA Vase stating that they don’t have replays. All I can say to that
is liar liar pants on fire. It’s the last time I listen to him.
After he mentioned it and I dismissed it, it still went
around in my head. Combine that with the amount of fun I had at the non-league
level and the rest as they say is history, but it really hit home when the
Extra Preliminary Round of the FA Cup came around again. I was like a
junkie. I just needed that fix. I REALLY
NEEDED THAT FIX! I even went to the FA Cup Preliminary Round - St Margaretsbury
v Romford – Romford won 0-4.
I started to look at the FA Vase. It started in the 1974-75
season making this season the 40th anniversary. The first team to
win it was Hoddesdon Town – beating Epsom & Ewell 2-1 at the old
Wembley. Hoddesdon Town had been pulled at home to Sawbridgeworth Town. It was
their first home game of the season. It was the first time in Hoddesdon Town’s
history that they had been able to play at home during the Cricket Clubs
tenancy. Also thanks to the European Championship Qualifying games, it was also
Non-League Day, with FA trying to encourage football fans to take in a non-league
game and who am I to argue with the FA…
If all of that wasn’t enough the Mayor of Broxbourne, Mrs
Bren Perryman and her Consort Mr Freddie Pearce, were to be the guests of
honour.
Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to just accept the fact
that maybe someone somewhere is pulling the strings.
Finally, I already have two issues.
1. Game No3 and the second Semi Final clashes with the Half
Term school holidays and you know what that means.
2. I already know that I can’t make any of the replays.
Let the adventure begin.
Saturday, 06th September 2014
First Round Qualifying
Hoddesdon Town v Sawbridgeworth Town
The Stewart Edwards Stadium
Hoddesdon
EN11 8PX
K.O. 3.00pm
Half time 0-1
Final score 2-1
0–1 Charlie Cole 10
mins
1-1 Jamie Brandon 55
mins
2-1 Ben Andreos 80
mins
Admission £7
Programme £2 – A5 size, 60 pages not including the cover, 20
pages of adverts.
Miles travelled approximately 05
Attendance 101
I woke at 7.30am, I looked out of my bedroom window at
Hoddesdon. It was cold, damp, dull, grey, and the weather wasn’t much better
either. Still on a positive note I had woken up in my bed, which is always a
good way to start the day.
Um… I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.
There was no buzz. Is this the curse of the junkie? Each fix has to bigger,
better, stronger. There was nothing. Was it because it was my adopted home
town? Was it because it was the FA Vase and not the FA Cup?
I took a steady walk over to the ground getting there just
before 2.00pm. Instead of going straight in I went for a walk around the
outside of the ground basically being nosey and seeing if there was anything
interesting going on.
So preoccupied was I with looking at the ground through the
lens of my camera, while trying to take a picture through a hole in the netting
that was hanging up behind the goal, that I didn’t see the cobwebs in the
bushes and trees. I walked straight through them. I was literally covered head
to foot in cobwebs and dozens of spiders that crawled all over me. In the
instant arrival of blind panic I couldn’t decide what to do first. What seemed
like an eternity or two later I’d managed to shove my camera into its case
before I clawed at the cobwebs and spiders that were running all over me like
MODS and Rockers on Brighton beach, of course none of this was before I
screamed like Ned Flanders from The Simpson’s and didn’t I scream and scream
and scream… I was having a really good hair day until that moment too…
Eventually I made my way into the ground and continued with
photographing anything that moved or didn’t. I also managed to get a ticket too.
Here I Go Again…
I bumped in David Bauckham who is doing the same as me and
is planning to turn his adventures into a book. His next game is going to be up
at Whitley Bay, which is no mean feat considering he’s from Eastbourne - https://www.flickr.com/photos/ccpub/sets/72157646957700578/
I made my way around the pitch which looked great. The grass
was long and the ball wasn’t rolling that well in the warm up.
Everywhere I looked I saw spiders, they were everywhere,
literally everywhere, not just in the trees and bushes but all over the fences,
the main stand, the seats, I had a brain wave. The bar. The bar would surely be
free of spiders. I was right too. I can live with the pink elephants but the spiders…
Also, it was great to see the Hoddesdon Town staff again,
some of whom remembered me and welcomed me very warmly to their club, which was
a lovely touch.
The weather was becoming thick and sticky. The sun was
trying to break through. It tried to rain. It would eventually make its mind up
by becoming hot and sunny.
Suddenly, it was 3pm, the teams did the usual hand shake
nonsense, coin flipped, ends picked, photo taken… God I wish they’d just… GET
ON WITH IT!!!
REALLY!? Is this necessary at any level never mind this…
This I understand, but the above.
What can I say? Be careful what you wish for. What a
shocking game of football, truly shocking. I suppose I should be kind and say
that both teams cancelled each other out, but I think it would be fair to
suggest that both sets of players had probably never played the game before in
their lives.
They did try. No really they did. I just sat there thinking
that if this is Non-League Day and it was, then the people that had turned up
to watch this would probably never bother coming again, which was a shame,
because I know that Hoddesdon can play a lot better than that.
I shouldn’t really too hard on the teams because
Sawbridgeworth did score on 10 mins which meant that at some point Hoddesdon
would have to come out and play, it was just a question of when.
As for the Sawbridgeworth Town goal, it was a nothing goal,
if that’s not a really stupid thing to say. It was neither good attacking nor
bad defending. The ball just found itself in the box. It was either going to be
a goal or be cleared. The fates were kind and we were treated to a goal. Still,
it was well taken.
Fortunately the half time whistle arrived sooner than it
should have. The Mayor and her Consort came over to me and asked me what I
thought of the game so far. I told them what I thought before going off to the
bar and by God did I need a beer.
RUBBISH! See what I did there…
By the time I'd got to the bar the half times
were coming in on Sky Sports.
Walsall 0 Colchester 0… OH… HUMP MY HOUND!!!
We’re going down
We’re going down
We’re going
Walsall’s going down…
Unfortunately the second half arrived sooner than it should
have (see what I did there?). Still, on a positive I was sat next to some
really fit ginger bird whose fella was playing for Hoddesdon so it wasn’t all
bad… WHAT!?
I don’t know what the manager said to the team at half time
but the team that started the second half wasn’t the team that ended the first.
In fact, both teams had up their game and didn’t it show. This was more like
it. This is the team I saw last season. Game on. Suddenly we had a game on our
hands. Suddenly both teams were playing with pace.
Hoddesdon were having the better of the start and on 55 mins
they managed to stuff up a great chance to equalise by placing the ball on the
roof of the net. Sawbridgeworth having not learnt from the near miss let
Hoddesdon have another go at equalising which they promptly did 60 seconds
later.
Just like the Sawbridgeworth goal, it was a nothing attack,
neither one thing nor another, but it fell to the feet of Jamie Brandon, who
just like Charlie Cole before him slammed it in from close range, actually he
bent in from the left, or right, depending which way you are facing.
Actually to make it as clear as I can. If you were the
keeper. The ball falls to Brandon inside the box to your right, closer to the
18 yard line than the 6 yard line. Brandon sees to space to the your left and
curls the ball into the bottom left hand corner, past you as you wave at the
ball.
Then it happened, one of the reasons I fell in love with
non-league football, on 70-ish minutes, a Hoddesdon player went one on one with
the Sawbridgeworth keeper in a genuine 50/50 ball. Neither player was going to
beat either player to the ball, neither one of them pulled out. The keeper went
down on the ball while the striker went in… TWACK! The striker flew over the
keeper while the keeper held onto the ball. No play acting. No moaning at the
ref. No rolling around the pitch like those diving racist cheats in the
Premiershit. Brilliant stuff.
Four minutes later Sawbridgeworth went and hit the bar from
a lovely and rapid break down their left, a nicely drifted cross was met by the
only player on planet Earth that could miss, which he did. It was a classic
moment of it being easier to score than miss, I guess he just likes a
challenge… The ball bounced of the top of the bar, over the netting, through
the trees, bushes and cobwebs where the spiders caught it and teased the ball
boy with it…
On 80 minutes Ben Andreos got Hoddesdon’s second and put the
game out of reach for Sawbridgeworth who, to their credit, didn’t give up, but
it was over and we all knew it. Another well taken goal, nicely struck, from a
nothing cross that just sort of bobbled through to Ben, who once he’d got it
under control slammed it in.
Just as the game was drawing to a close one of the
Sawbridgeworth players spat the dummy (would it be unfair to name their captain
Kevin Riley?), if all that was bad enough at the final whistle another
Sawbridgeworth player said something to the linesman and got himself sent off
after the final whistle.
After the final whistle the Mayor and her Consort waited by
the entrance to the pitch and shuck hands with the officials, the players and
playing staff of both teams. Just how cool is that? This is probably why she’s
the Mayor.
Once the end of game formalities had been done I dived into
the bar to see the final results. Walsall 0 Colchester 0 … From the bottom up
it read, Crewe, Colchester, Scunthorpe, Walsall, Port Vale… *SIGH*
I decided to take advantage of an empty ground and take the
photos that I missed earlier in the day before being offered the chance to see
the replica FA Vase that was given to Hoddesdon in 1975. It’s smaller than me.
But only just. Lots of chatting. I even bumped into Norman Ingram – I’m sure
he’s stalking me.
I’d enjoyed today. It wasn’t the greatest game of football
that I’d ever seen, but you know something, it was great to be back.
View from the North Bank
View from the East Stand
View from the South Bank
View from the West Stand
Noggin xx
Just for the record, this is what happened 40 years ago
Round One
Hoddesdon Town 2-1 Epping Town
Round Two
Hoddesdon Town 1-0 Billericay Town
Round three
Basildon United 1-2 Hoddesdon Town
Round Four
Baldock 1-2 Hoddesdon Town
Round Five
Hoddesdon Town 1-0 Molesey
Quarter Final
Hoddesdon Town 2-0 Farnborough Town
Semi Final First
Leg
Hoddesdon Town 2-0 Friar Lane Old Boys
Semi Final Second
Leg
Friar Lane Old boys 1-1 Hoddesdon Town
Final
Hoddesdon town 2-1 Epsom & Ewell
