On Tour For DUMMIES

A Fans Guide To Being On Tour

 

LUCKY

 

One thing I constantly hear from people, especially fans, is how “lucky” I am to be seeing the band so many times. And you know something, it really pisses me off. How exactly am I lucky, which part of the previous chapter did no one read or understand.

I just want someone to explain to me in a way that I can easily understand, how I’m “lucky.”

Was I lucky when I missed the last tour? Was I lucky when I didn’t see a single gig on the last tour? What the hell does seeing a band or not seeing a band have to do with luck?

Calling Heads or Tails on the toss of a coin and getting it right is lucky.

It’s a straight 50/50 you either guess right or wrong. Don’t praise yourself if you guess correctly, don’t berate yourself if you guess wrong. It’s luck. Nothing more. Nothing less.

As we’ve already discussed in the previous chapter, you spend your money your way and I will spend my money my way. Let me come at this from a different direction. Are you lucky when you go to a far-flung place to lie on a beach and get sunburnt while ignoring the local culture? Or is it a well deserved holiday?

So why am I lucky when I see a band on tour?

Something else people say to me a lot is I wish I was you. Really? Why?

Did you feel the same when I missed every gig on the last tour because the band went on tour in December and I can’t get time off in December because all annual leave is cancelled so that you and your family can have Christmas, because guess what, it isn’t Santa that brings you and your family Christmas… Its people like me.

Did you feel the same when I was literally delivering around the corner from where the band were playing and I had to continue with my deliveries? True story that.

Do you see how easily and quickly we are repeating ourselves? How am I lucky? Why do you wish you were me?

What I’m doing is so far away from luck that you could hit it with a stick. I’m working every hour I can legally get away with to put food on my families table, while saving every last penny I can, while trying to financially help my daughter through university.

Fuck you and fuck your observation of me being “Lucky.” You have no idea what you are talking about.

 

Noggin xx