On Tour For DUMMIES

A Fans Guide To Being On Tour

 

MONEY

 

Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today. *

Money, the ultimate lubricant.

Money, the greatest motivator known to mankind.  

Money, or more accurately, Disposable Income, is really what this all boils down to. Let’s stop being clever about this. The more disposable income you have the more adventures you can have, the more opportunities come your way, whether it being flying off to far-flung places or following a band around.

It is a very simple equation. The more disposable income you have, the more fun you can have.

So basically, what I am saying is what I’ve already said in the last two chapters. There really is nothing special about me. I’m not better than you. I’m not lucky. You don’t need to wish you were me. You spend your money your way and I will spend my money my way. I’m not a bigger fan than you. I just simply have more disposable income than I did this time last year, and what disposable income I have, I choose to spend differently to you.

It hasn’t always been that way. I didn’t start doing gigs until late on in my life, simply because I couldn’t afford it. Also in recent years, I’ve missed out on my favourite bands playing in my home town because I was penniless, literally broke.

Money may very well be the route to all evil but that’s because it smooths out the road before you. Maybe that’s why it is so easy to take the wrong road when fame and fortune finally finds you.

I’ve recently lost a relationship (you know, the one, the one I’d waited all those years to find, the one I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, yeah that one) because I was for all intents and purposes bankrupt.

Maybe somewhere one day I called Heads and it fell Tails. So much for be lucky. ** 

I just suddenly found myself in a world of hurt that was not of my desire or design. And once that first domino topples it is very difficult to stop the inevitable.

I’m just trying to prove that money is the ultimate lubricant, it helps make the most difficult of times into a smoother ride, and there is only so much turbulence that any relationship can continue to take before fatigue slowly erodes all strengths.

And yet here I am a few years along the road about to piss at least £1000 up the wall following a band around the UK. Strange how life works out isn’t.

Let me put it this way, if you had £1 Million in the bank, would you go on holiday to Great Yarmouth (nothing wrong with Great Yarmouth by the way) or would you fly off to far-flung places? It would be far-flung places every time, so why pretend otherwise.

So again, let me make this very clear, there is nothing special about me, I am not a bigger a fan than you, I’ve just got a little bit more disposable income than I had this time last year, and I’m choosing to spend it this way.

 

* Pink Floyd, “Money” from the album “Dark Side Of The Moon” (1973)

** Who knew it was possible to have so many regrets? Sometimes I think it’s worse than death.

 

Noggin xx