On Tour For DUMMIES

A Fans Guide To Being On Tour

 

DAYS OFF

 

Oh Yes! A day off. Isn’t it lovely. Why? Because a day off on tour is Laundry Day and what a wonderful day it is too.

Whether you are working a tour or whether you are following a band as a fan, there are times where everyone does the same thing, and normally it is the most mundane things, simple things like catching up on e-mails, voice mails, face timing family, friends, zoom meetings, sleeping or doing your laundry.  

These are basic needs, needs that we all take for granted in the real world, but do you know where you can find a laundrette in Glasgow? Paris? Tokyo? Ever tried to use a laundrette in a language that you can’t read?

Laundry Day is your Birthday Day + Xmas Day + doing your girlfriends fitter younger sister and getting away with it, all rolled into one. 

Sleeping, isn’t the waste of time you may think it is either. Sleeping gives you the chance to recharge those worn down batteries. You can drink yourself into a coma every night. You can get wasted on drugs every night. But an alcoholic drug induced coma is not the same as sleep, eventually you will die, lets be honest, none of us are going to cheat death, but I’d like to put off it’s arrival for as long as possible if you don’t mind.

So, sleep, good food, and lots of water, is a necessary evil of being on the road, that way the road is longer.

Also, a day off, just gives you the chance to slow everything down, to take a look around you, “to pause, no matter what I pretend, like some pilgrim who leans to transcend…” * 

It isn’t all mundane though, there are two sides to a coin, you may have mundane on one side of the coin, but on the other side is, culture, sightseeing, being a tourist, after all, isn’t that what you basically are, a traveller, seeing and visiting different places. Just as money is the greatest lubricant and motivator so travel is greatest educator, you will never get an education from any university, which compares to travel.

For example, I was in Madrid on tour a few years ago in November with a few hours free. So, I did the double decker bus tour, got my bearings, went Xmas shopping for my daughter, while wearing shorts and a T Shirt in 25c… and amongst other things, I learnt to say “Gracias” correctly. I’ve had worse days the office.

Days off do sometimes come with a twist, a sting in the tail. Going home. The temptation to, “just pop home” is a temptation you must avoid at all costs. At no point whatsoever must you go home. It simply kills the tour. It ruins the vibe. Let me come at it this way, in the middle of a two week holiday do you just pop back to check your mail? Well, do you?

It’s a bit like answering your phone in the middle of a shag, be honest, if you’re sitting on someone’s face or if someone is sucking your cock, are you really going to answer a knock at the door?

 

*RUSH, “Time Stand Still” from the album “Hold Your Fire” (1987)

 

Noggin xx